Empty Fridge

Tomorrow the movers are coming. My fridge is pretty near empty...a 3 eggs, 2 bottles of bissap, 3 cans of Sprite, a few carrot sticks. The freezer isn't far behind...1/4 bag frozen potatoes, 1/4 package of boca sausage. But it all goes in the trash tonight.

Which means I am now living completely on prepared food...not so bad. Ya gotta do what you gotta do so you can get to a place where you can do what you want.

The most important thing - the movers are coming tomorrow. What seemed like an abstract concept is now a friggin' reality.

Goodbye Frenemy...part 2

My scale is now in a better place - the Salvation Army.

I realized today that I have been depending on a scale to define my self worth since 1992. It led to years of diets (1000 calories a day + 2 hours of exercise a day...for a woman who was 5'10.25" and 245 lbs, cabbage soup diet, WW, and so many others), yet at my last weigh-in, I was 40 lbs heavier than when I first started dieting.

It really hit home when I was going through my computer files and came across a folder called "Me". Contents of the folder:
List of addresses for friends and family (used to mail invited to my grad school graduation)
Two separate weight trackers that I created
Four pictures of what I would look like at different weights ( created on my virtual model)
One size loss tracker
One list of diet tips
One food tracker

That was really telling, because I am so so much more than a weight loss program.

I realized that the only time I've ever been successful at weight loss was when I lived abroad. I was more interested in experiencing the adventure that I didn't worry about weight. I was extremely active because I liked it - not because I had to. Food choices were made based on hunger and taste, not calories. I lived an active, healthy life and listened to my body instead of telling it what to do.

Now that I'm moving on to a new life in the big city - I'm adopting a new attitude about this whole weight loss thing. No more diets. No more calorie counting. I have too many things to experience to be so controlled and consumed by weight loss.

I'm going to do the things that I enjoy (soccer, salsa dancing, running, weight lifting) because they make me feel good and they are fun. I really like being an athelete and I am good at it when I'm not focused on "I'm too fat to do this or that".

As far as food - my body is pretty smart. She likes to be fed high quality food that makes her feel better. She craves salads and nuts and lean meats...but she also enjoys chocolate and Oma's carrot cake. And you know what? It's okay if she eats both.

cmae once wrote in someone's comments "Be gentle with yourself". I love that - so no more
body bashing so that I make myself feel bad even when I rock that dress on a night out or those shoes at work.

So we'll see how it goes in this next year of living healthier, exercising for the fun of it, eating good food, not feeling guilty about eating good food and basically just loving and celebrating the skin that I'm in.

Goodbye Frenemy

The moving date is less than TWO WEEKS away. As I was packing up my bathroom, the scale went on the Salvation Army pile. It was empowering and sad at the same time.

Yeah...

Interesting thing going on...weight has not been the focus of my life for the past few weeks. As shown by the tightening of the jeans and the rising of the numbers on the scale. So now that things are a little calmer and I have two weeks before the move - I need to get some work done on this weight loss. I'm starting to feel uncomfortable with the weight gain.

Another adventure!

I've received (and accepted) a job offer and I'm relocating to the East Coast.

I love the East Coast. NYC, Philly,Boston,Jersey,Vermont... it's going to be most awesome.

Take it away, Stinky Wizzleteats: