serenity now

yeah, so the last weigh in was rough.

i was up 3 lbs.

but that's not the rough part. the rough part was i knew i was gaining weight as it was happening. no exercise. lots of high fat stuff like donuts and rice and peas. not enough water. lots of salt in the pre-made stuff...and quite a few french fries. stopped counting points.

i broke down and cried at the ww meeting. i felt so bad about not doing what i needed to do PLUS i knew that i had gained weight. but like i said earlier, the group is full of cool chicks. people were there to support me...in a real way.

but on the good side - the big rush project at work is completed. i am now in my apartment and things are being unpacked. i still don't have a working stove/oven. the gas company has to come out and turn on the gas and i don't know when i can take off work again to be here. i'm thinking that i'll be able to do it in about a week.

however, i do have a microwave and a fridge and a blender. so there are some things i can start doing. i like to think of it as the "detox" phase (lol) - lots of salad, veggies, fruit, cereal and yogurt for the next week or so. I do have some lean chicken and cold cuts from TJ.

and i have an exercise buddy. there's a "gym" across the street from our job. i say "gym" because i haven't seen it yet and the people i know who work out there tell me i should set my expectations low. we'll see. i'm going to check it out next week. on the plus side, the job pays half of the fee if i attend at least 3 times a month.

i still want to find some place to go around my house. i really like working out at a gym. HOWEVER, since this is a year of change, maybe i should look at what i can do in my house. something different from the usual routine. i'm not yet fit enough to keep up with tae bo...but i can do 15 minutes of walking in place and add some calisthenics to the mix. the workout goal for this week is to get in at least 90 minutes (combined cardio and strength).

i know that i can do this. not just because i want it, but because i know that i'm not alone. i've been reading some other weight loss blogs and there are others who are going through this...newbies and people who have lost significant amounts of weight. for me, that takes a lot of the pressure off...i don't feel so alone and like i'm an utter failure at this change thing. i'm breaking some unhealthy habits and replacing them with healthier habits. it doesn't happen overnight, so i gotta keep moving on one step at a time.